Postponing Gratification.

Everybody wants to be happy. I was reading an article the other day about the lifelong search for happiness, and the various techniques or mind tricks that can be used to reach that state of mind. One that interests me is delaying gratification, so as to increase the level of happiness in the future in comparison to the immediate, more temporary happiness that comes from indulging in short-term pleasures.
You may have heard of the study conducted in which children were offered one marshmallow to eat now, or two marshmallows to eat later. The majority of the children which chose to eat theirs later, were found to be happier in later adult life than those who chose to eat theirs now.
It is with shame that I admit that I would have been one of the kids who ate the marshmallow. I have a terrible sweet tooth, and when something is waved in front of my face, I want it NOW, and I don't want to work for it. Of course, this theory doesn't only apply to food. It's applicable to anything: studying, working, exercise. For example: Instead of leaving your homework to watch the TV, delay the gratification of watching television until later on that night, when your homework is finished, and it will be more satisfying as you will feel as though it is deserved. Thats the theory anyhow.

The fact that the people who were tested in the Marshmallow Experiment were children suggests that perhaps a person’s tendency to delay gratification, or to receive immediate (if less) gratification is due to their personality. It is instinctual to want to fulfill desires, but why do some of us choose to have less, straightaway, instead of more, later? Which leads me to the question, can we change our ways? Can those of us, like myself, who want the marshmallow NOW, learn to wait until later? Furthermore, can we learn to WANT it later?

I’ve decided to try to postpone gratification of pleasures in my everyday lifestyle, to see if it’s as effective as it sounds. For instance, today, I wanted to eat apricot yoghurt, and I went to the fridge and held the little blue tub in my hand for a few seconds before something in my head clicked. I didn’t really want it that badly, and I knew that I would appreciate it later on tonight while watching Grey’s Anatomy before bed. So it is still sitting in the fridge, waiting patiently for the clock to hit 8:30. And even though I am yet to taste the yoghurt, I already feel gratified to know that soon I will be eating it, whereas if I had already eaten it, the pleasure would be gone and I wouldn’t have anything to look forward to.

Basically, its all about habits. Its about making concious decisions to wait for the marshmallow, to work hard for one more hour so that watching TV will be that much more satisfying. It's about earning the pleasures of life, and by doing so, increasing their value. As time passes, hopefully these decisions will become automatic, and new habits will be created.

Lesson learned: Wait for two marshmallows.