Giving and getting.

When I was a little kid, I wasn't so much into giving as I was into recieving. I'm not even sure if I liked to give at all. Everything was MINE, and everything that wasn't, should have been. As far as I remember, anyway. I don't know, perhaps I was a more generous child than I am giving myself credit for, but I am sure that, like most children, I was pretty selfish. Ramble ramble.

My point is, things have changed. I love to give. It is so much more satisfying than receiving. Granted, receiving something that is particularly personal does give you that warm fuzzy feeling inside (awwww!) but giving something that you know will make the person feel as though you know them, and what they like, and what means something to them, is such a nice feeling. I gave a copy of my favourite book to a friend today for his birthday, and he was really happy about it. I'm not talking, "oh, thankyou! I love it so much!" happy either. It was sincere happiness. This will sound stupid, but for some reason I don't like too many people reading that book. It feels too special for everybody to read it. And in a way I feel as though it's my own. Perhaps I really haven't lost the selfishness of my youth. But I think that's why it felt so perfect to give it to such a close friend. I don't know if he knows how much the book means to me, but if he did, I suppose he'd realise that it actually meant a lot for me to give it to him.

When did giving become better than getting? It is drilled into us from a young age that "it is better to give than to receive", but only for recent years have I actually felt that as being true. At what point did that happen? Am I just getting more mature? I'd like to think so...

For anybody who is really down in the dumps lately, here is my advice. Give something to somebody. Draw them a picture, make them a card, spend time with them, write them a letter, buy them flowers, whatever. It sound's soooo corny, but it makes you feel pretty good.

365 Days in a Year.

Tonight, I was sitting at home watching All Saints on TV, and an advertisement that I hadn't seen for about a year came on. It's an ad for a shopping centre, and it shows a woman twirling around from shop to shop trying on clothes, eating lunch, browsing a cd shop, etc. In one particular part, the girl tries on a red dress, and I have to say, I wouldn't mind looking a little more like her in the bum and thighs department.
What's the point? Well, last year I remember looking at the ad, and thinking the exact same thing. I wouldnt mind my body being more like hers.
Notice how these two thoughts are a year apart. A year has passed since I last saw that ad, and had that thought. A year that I could have spent working out and eating well. A year in which I probably gained weight. A year that I could have spent making sure that the next time I saw the ad, I wouldn't be thinking the same thing as one year ago.
We don't get a whole lot of time on the earth. I don't want to waste any more years feeling uncomfortable with my weight but doing nothing about it. So, I am making a pledge to myself.

I pledge, that I will do everything in my power to have solved my weight problem by the end of this year.

I already have an account on www.sparkpeople.com (a brilliant website for anybody who wants to lose weight in a healthy, lifestyle-change-as-opposed-to-diet way), and I go to the gym a fair bit. I've lost 3 out of 10kg since the beginning of the year, so I think it is realistic to aim to lose 7kg before the end of the year.

Weight issues aside, today really was a good day.
I got 100% in a test for which the average was 64%, and 90% in a Lit essay (the average was around 65-70%). Happy!

March Fitness Goal.

I don’t really have much to say today, except that two of my tests today went well. It will be nice finally getting some good results for hard work (if all goes to plan, anyway). I have myself a new goal.

GOAL = To be able to run 10km without stopping before the end of March.

At the moment I am running 7.5km, so it shouldn’t be impossible to reach my goal. We’ll see!

Postponing Gratification.

Everybody wants to be happy. I was reading an article the other day about the lifelong search for happiness, and the various techniques or mind tricks that can be used to reach that state of mind. One that interests me is delaying gratification, so as to increase the level of happiness in the future in comparison to the immediate, more temporary happiness that comes from indulging in short-term pleasures.
You may have heard of the study conducted in which children were offered one marshmallow to eat now, or two marshmallows to eat later. The majority of the children which chose to eat theirs later, were found to be happier in later adult life than those who chose to eat theirs now.
It is with shame that I admit that I would have been one of the kids who ate the marshmallow. I have a terrible sweet tooth, and when something is waved in front of my face, I want it NOW, and I don't want to work for it. Of course, this theory doesn't only apply to food. It's applicable to anything: studying, working, exercise. For example: Instead of leaving your homework to watch the TV, delay the gratification of watching television until later on that night, when your homework is finished, and it will be more satisfying as you will feel as though it is deserved. Thats the theory anyhow.

The fact that the people who were tested in the Marshmallow Experiment were children suggests that perhaps a person’s tendency to delay gratification, or to receive immediate (if less) gratification is due to their personality. It is instinctual to want to fulfill desires, but why do some of us choose to have less, straightaway, instead of more, later? Which leads me to the question, can we change our ways? Can those of us, like myself, who want the marshmallow NOW, learn to wait until later? Furthermore, can we learn to WANT it later?

I’ve decided to try to postpone gratification of pleasures in my everyday lifestyle, to see if it’s as effective as it sounds. For instance, today, I wanted to eat apricot yoghurt, and I went to the fridge and held the little blue tub in my hand for a few seconds before something in my head clicked. I didn’t really want it that badly, and I knew that I would appreciate it later on tonight while watching Grey’s Anatomy before bed. So it is still sitting in the fridge, waiting patiently for the clock to hit 8:30. And even though I am yet to taste the yoghurt, I already feel gratified to know that soon I will be eating it, whereas if I had already eaten it, the pleasure would be gone and I wouldn’t have anything to look forward to.

Basically, its all about habits. Its about making concious decisions to wait for the marshmallow, to work hard for one more hour so that watching TV will be that much more satisfying. It's about earning the pleasures of life, and by doing so, increasing their value. As time passes, hopefully these decisions will become automatic, and new habits will be created.

Lesson learned: Wait for two marshmallows.

First of many.

I don't want to write a full-blown introduction of myself, because I think I may bore myself crazy, but I'll give you the basics.
I'm a sixteen (soon to be seventeen) year old girl, completing my final year of highschool. I'm writing this because I want to get things down, so that one day when I'm older I can remember that at one stage of my life, this was me, and it wasn't all a blur yet. I suppose it's just somewhere for me to talk to myself. I guess the main reason is that I'm confused, and I want to make sense of things.
The plan is to write something every day. It can be one sentence or a small novel, but it has to be something, because I don't take enough time to really think about things properly these days.